Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone Audiobook by Stephen Fry

His face fell.

“Thirty-six,” he stated, watching up at his moms and dads. “that is two lower than final year.”

“Darling, you have not counted Auntie Marge’s gift, see, it can be here beneath this large one from Mommy and Daddy.”

“All right, thirty-seven then,” said Dudley, going purple within the face.

Harry, who might see a significant Dudley tantrum coming on, commenced gulping up his publisher 1st baron verulam as speedy as feasible in case Dudley turned the desk over.

Aunt Petunia definitely scented risk, too, considering she said swiftly, “And we will buy you a further two grants at the same time we’re out today. How’s that, popkin? Two extra grants. Is that each one correct” Dudley idea for a second. It appeared like rough work. Ultimately he said slowly, “So i’ll have thirty … Thirty…”

“Thirty-9, sweetums,” said Aunt Petunia.

“Oh.” Dudley sat down heavily and grabbed the closest parcel. “All correct then.”

Uncle Vernon chuckled. “Little tyke desires his cash’s worth, identical to his father. ‘Atta boy, Dudley!” He ruffled Dudley’s hair.

At that second the telephone rang and Aunt Petunia went to reply it whilst Harry and Uncle Vernon watched Dudley unwrap the racing bike, a video digicam, a far off manage airplane, sixteen new laptop games, and a VCR. He was ripping the paper off a gold wristwatch when Aunt Petunia got here again from the telephone looking each angry and worried.

“bad news, Vernon,” she stated. “Mrs. Figg’s broken her leg. She cannot take him.” She jerked her head in Harry’s path.

Dudley’s mouth fell open in horror, however Harry’s coronary heart gave a jump. Each yr on Dudley’s birthday, his mother and father took him and a buddy out for the day, to adventure parks, hamburger restaurants, or the films. Each year, Harry was once left at the back of with Mrs. Figg, a mad historic lady who lived two streets away. Harry hated it there. The whole condo smelled of cabbage and Mrs. Figg made him look at snap shots of the entire cats she’d ever owned.

“Now what?” stated Aunt Petunia, watching furiously at Harry as if he’d planned this. Harry knew he need to think sorry that Mrs. Figg had damaged her leg, but it wasn’t handy when he reminded himself it might be a entire year earlier than he had to appear at Tibbles, Snowy, Mr. Paws, and Tufty once more.

“We might telephone Marge,” Uncle Vernon advised.

“don’t be silly, Vernon, she hates the boy.”

The Dursleys more often than not spoke about Harry like this, as if he wasn’t there — or rather, as though he was something very nasty that could not appreciate them, like a slug.

“What about what’s-her-identify, your pal — Yvonne?”

“On vacation in Majorca,” snapped Aunt Petunia.

“You might just depart me right here,” Harry put in optimistically (he’d be in a position to watch what he wanted on tv for a metamorphosis and perhaps also have a go on Dudley’s computer).

Aunt Petunia looked as though she’d just swallowed a lemon.

“and come back and find the house in ruins?” she tousled.

“I won’t blow up the condo,” said Harry, however they weren’t listening.

“I believe we might take him to the zoo,” mentioned Aunt Petunia slowly, “…

And depart him within the vehicle….”

“That automobile’s new, he is now not sitting in it alone….”

Dudley started out to cry loudly. Actually, he wasn’t fairly crying — it had been years considering the fact that he’d rather cried — but he knew that if he screwed up his face and wailed, his mom would supply him whatever he desired.

“Dinky Duddydums, don’t cry, Mummy is not going to let him damage your detailed day!” she cried, flinging her arms round him.

“I… Do not… Want… Him… T-t-to come!” Dudley yelled between big, pretend sobs. “He constantly sp- spoils the whole thing!” He shot Harry a foul grin by way of the hole in his mother’s hands.

Simply then, the doorbell rang — “Oh, good Lord, they may be here!” mentioned Aunt Petunia frantically — and a moment later, Dudley’s satisfactory pal, Piers Polkiss, walked in together with his mom. Piers was a scrawny boy with a face like a rat. He used to be most commonly the one who held men and women’s hands at the back of their backs whilst Dudley hit them. Dudley stopped pretending to cry immediately.

Half an hour later, Harry, who couldn’t suppose his success, used to be sitting at the back of the Dursleys’ auto with Piers and Dudley, with the intention to the zoo for the primary time in his life. His aunt and uncle hadn’t been capable to believe of whatever else to do with him, however before they’d left, Uncle Vernon had taken Harry aside.

“i’m warning you,” he had stated, hanging his massive crimson face right up almost Harry’s, “i’m warning you now, boy — any funny industry, some thing in any respect — and you’ll be able to be in that cupboard from now unless Christmas.”

“i am not going to do anything,” stated Harry, “actually..

However Uncle Vernon didn’t think him. No one ever did.

The drawback was, unusual things almost always happened round Harry and it was once simply no just right telling the Dursleys he did not make them happen.

Once, Aunt Petunia, tired of Harry getting back from the barbers watching as if he hadn’t been at all, had taken a pair of kitchen scissors and cut his hair so brief he was once close to bald except for his bangs, which she left “to hide that horrible scar.” Dudley had laughed himself foolish at Harry, who spent a sleepless night time imagining school the next day, where he was already laughed at for his baggy clothes and taped glasses.

Next morning, nonetheless, he had gotten as much as find his hair exactly as it had been before Aunt Petunia had sheared it off He had been given per week in his cabinet for this, despite the fact that he had tried to give an explanation for that he couldn’t give an explanation for the way it had grown again so swiftly.

One other time, Aunt Petunia had been looking to force him right into a revolting historic sweater of Dudley’s (brown with orange puff balls) — The harder she tried to drag it over his head, the smaller it gave the impression to grow to be, unless finally it could have geared up a hand puppet, however obviously would not match Harry. Aunt Petunia had made up our minds it ought to have shriveled in the wash and, to his best remedy, Harry wasn’t punished.

On the other hand, he’d gotten into terrible concern for being found on the roof of the university kitchens. Dudley’s gang had been chasing him as usual when, as a lot to Harry’s surprise as anybody else’s, there he used to be sitting on the chimney. The Dursleys had obtained an awfully angry letter from Harry’s headmistress telling them Harry had been hiking tuition constructions. However all he’d tried to do (as he shouted at Uncle Vernon through the locked door of his cupboard) used to be bounce in the back of the gigantic trash cans outside the kitchen doorways. Harry supposed that the wind must have caught him in mid- bounce.

However at present, nothing was going to head fallacious. It was once even valued at being with Dudley and Piers to be spending the day someplace that wasn’t university, his cupboard, or Mrs. Figg’s cabbage-smelling dwelling room.

Even as he drove, Uncle Vernon complained to Aunt Petunia. He appreciated to whinge about things: folks at work, Harry, the council, Harry, the bank, and Harry have been only a few of his favourite subjects. This morning, it was motorcycles.

“… Roaring alongside like maniacs, the young hoodlums,” he said, as a motorbike overtook them.

I had a dream a few bike,” stated Harry, remembering abruptly. “It used to be flying.”

Uncle Vernon nearly crashed into the auto in front. He grew to become proper around in his seat and yelled at Harry, his face like a immense beet with a mustache: “motorcycles don’t FLY!”

Dudley and Piers sniggered.

I do know they don’t,” mentioned Harry. “It was only a dream.”

but he wished he hadn’t mentioned something. If there was one factor the Dursleys hated much more than his asking questions, it was once his speakme about anything performing in a method it shouldn’t, no matter if it was in a dream or even a caricature — they perceived to think he could get dangerous suggestions.

It was a very sunny Saturday and the zoo was once crowded with households. The Dursleys purchased Dudley and Piers giant chocolate ice creams on the entrance and then, in view that the smiling lady within the van had asked Harry what he desired earlier than they would hurry him away, they purchased him a low-cost lemon ice pop. It wasn’t unhealthy, both, Harry thought, licking it as they watched a gorilla scratching its head who appeared remarkably like Dudley, except that it wasn’t blond.

Harry had the satisfactory morning he’d had in a very long time. He was once cautious to walk somewhat way apart from the Dursleys in order that Dudley and Piers, who have been starting to get tired of the animals by means of lunchtime, would not fall again on their favorite pastime of hitting him. They ate within the zoo restaurant, and when Dudley had a tantrum considering the fact that his knickerbocker glory did not have adequate ice cream on prime, Uncle Vernon bought him a different one and Harry was allowed to conclude the primary.

Harry felt, later on, that he must have known it used to be all too excellent to final.

After lunch they went to the reptile apartment. It was once cool and darkish in there, with lit home windows all alongside the partitions. At the back of the glass, all varieties of lizards and snakes were crawling and slithering over bits of timber and stone. Dudley and Piers wanted to see significant, poisonous cobras and thick, man-crushing pythons. Dudley rapidly found the biggest snake within the location. It might have wrapped its physique twice around Uncle Vernon’s automobile and crushed it right into a trash can — however at the second it did not seem within the mood. Correctly, it was speedy asleep.

Dudley stood along with his nostril pressed in opposition to the glass, staring at the glistening brown coils.

“Make it transfer,” he whined at his father. Uncle Vernon tapped on the glass, however the snake didn’t budge.

“Do it again,” Dudley ordered. Uncle Vernon rapped the glass well together with his knuckles, however the snake just snoozed on.

“this is boring,” Dudley moaned. He shuffled away.

Harry moved in front of the tank and seemed intently at the snake. He should not have been surprised if it had died of boredom itself — no manufacturer except silly individuals drumming their fingers on the glass trying to disturb all of it day lengthy. It used to be worse than having a cupboard as a bed room, the place the one vacationer used to be Aunt Petunia hammering on the door to wake you up; at least he bought to consult with the rest of the house.

The snake suddenly opened its beady eyes. Slowly, very slowly, it raised its head except its eyes had been on a degree with Harry’s.

It winked.

Harry stared. Then he seemed speedily round to look if any person was watching. They weren’t. He appeared back on the snake and winked, too.

The snake jerked its head toward Uncle Vernon and Dudley, then raised its eyes to the ceiling. It gave Harry a look that said rather it seems that: “I get that always.

“i know,” Harry murmured by means of the glass, although he wasn’t sure the snake might hear him. “It must be relatively stressful.”

The snake nodded vigorously.

“the place do you come from, anyway?” Harry asked.

The snake jabbed its tail at somewhat sign next to the glass. Harry peered at it.

Boa Constrictor, Brazil.